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Sometimes, a 22-year-old from Los Angeles feels he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Having received an NPD diagnosis, his periods of extreme self-importance often turn “highly unrealistic”, he admits. You feel invincible and you think, ‘The world will recognize that I stand above others … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

In his case, these phases of exaggerated self-worth are usually succeeded by a “sudden low”, a period when he feels sensitive and embarrassed about his behavior, leaving him especially susceptible to disapproval from external sources. He began to think he might have this personality condition after researching his symptoms on the internet – and eventually confirmed by a specialist. Yet, he doubts he would have accepted the diagnosis without having independently formed that realization personally. “If you try to tell somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he comments – most notably if they feel a sense of being better. “They’re in a delusional world that they made for themselves. And within that framework, I’m the greatest and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Although people have been identified with narcissism for more than a century, it’s not always clear what people refer to as the diagnosis. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” states an expert in narcissism, noting the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he suggests many people keep it private, due to so much stigma associated with the disorder. A narcissist will tend to have “an exaggerated self-image”, “difficulty understanding others’ feelings”, and “a strategy of using people to enhance their social status through things like seeking admiration,” the expert clarifies. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he emphasizes.

Emotional connections were never important about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in Narcissism

Although up to 75% of people found to have the condition are males, studies indicates this number does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that narcissism in women is frequently manifests in the covert form, which is under-identified. Male narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, similar to everything in society,” notes a 23-year-old who shares content on her co-occurring conditions on social media. Frequently, the two disorders co-occur.

Personal Struggles

I find it difficult with dealing with feedback and rejection,” she says, whenever it’s suggested that I am at fault, I tend to switch to defence mode or I withdraw entirely.” Although experiencing this response – which is often called “narcissistic injury”, she has been trying to overcome it and listen to guidance from her support system, as she doesn’t want to slip into the negative conduct of her previous life. “I was very emotionally abusive to my partners in my youth,” she admits. With professional help, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she explains she and her significant other “have a dynamic where I told him, ‘If I say something messed up, if I say something manipulative, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up primarily in the care of her father and says she lacked supportive figures during development. “I’ve been learning all this time which behaviors are and is not appropriate to say during a fight because I lacked that guidance in my formative years,” she shares. Every insult was fair game when my household were insulting me during my childhood.”

Root Causes of NPD

Conditions like NPD tend to be linked to childhood challenges. Genetics play a role,” explains a mental health specialist. But, when someone develops narcissistic traits, it is often “tied to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to cope in formative years”, he states, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was dependent on meeting specific standards. They then “rely on those same mechanisms as adults”.

Like several of the individuals with NPD, a person from Leeds thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The individual shares when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their they engaged with him, it came in the form of “intense expectations to achieve academic success and career success, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t meet their standards, he wasn’t “good enough”.

When he became an adult, none of his relationships were successful. I didn’t truly value about anyone really,” he says. As a result, relationships weren’t relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t loving someone, until he met his present significant other of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, like him, struggles with mood stability. She is “very supportive of the stuff that goes on in my head”, he notes – it was surprisingly, she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

After a visit to his doctor, he was directed to a clinical psychologist for an evaluation and was given the NPD label. He has been put forward for therapeutic sessions through national services (extended treatment is the only treatment that has been shown to help NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the treatment delay for 18 months: The estimate was it is likely to occur in a few months.”

He has shared with a few individuals about his NPD diagnosis, because “negative perceptions are widespread that all narcissists are abusers”, but, personally, he has accepted it. The awareness assists me to understand myself better, which is beneficial,” he says. All of the people have come to terms with NPD and are looking for support for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the diagnosis. But the growth of online advocates and the expansion of digital groups suggest that {more narcissists|a growing number